1 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:03,797 J.D.: With all the bureaucracy in a hospital, 2 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,328 sometimes you have to bend the rules to help a patient. 3 00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:08,637 Unfortunately, the new Chief of Medicine didn't like it. 4 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,769 And she was everywhere. Patient rooms... 5 00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:15,508 - What'cha doing, rock star? - Nothing, I'm just doodling. 6 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:20,744 That's not right. 7 00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:22,687 ...work stations... 8 00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,189 You need to wear a bell. 9 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,592 ...even the O.R. 10 00:00:26,626 --> 00:00:28,594 Thanks for letting me observe, fellows. 11 00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:31,893 Come on. You got five more surgeries today. 12 00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:34,331 Tumor's down by his bean bags. 13 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,198 We should probably take that out. 14 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,898 It's like, all of a sudden, this hospital is a police state. 15 00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:39,996 I mean, next thing you know, 16 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,235 they're going to be charging doctors for candy at the gift shop. 17 00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:44,903 They do charge doctors for candy at the gift shop, Elliot. 18 00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:47,845 Really? Then why does Johann always let me... 19 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:51,408 Because he wants to make you his wife and bring you back to Estonia. 20 00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:54,983 Aah! That's why he's always asking me if I'm comfortable around oxen. 21 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:56,283 Elliot, I'm trying to talk to you about Maddox 22 00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:58,381 and how we can't work the system anymore. 23 00:00:58,425 --> 00:00:59,619 Correction. 24 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:03,186 You can't work the system anymore. I can. 25 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,493 For instance, I just got Mr. Tillman back there into a clinical trial 26 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:09,900 that has a cut-off age of 30. He's actually 35. 27 00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,905 But if anyone asks, Mr. Tillman, you are how old? 28 00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:14,497 Thirty-five. 29 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:18,534 I forgot to mention that it is a clinical trial for head injuries. 30 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,205 He hurt his head. 31 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:24,740 The point is that I'm still able to give top-notch care to my patients, 32 00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:28,379 - whereas you are not. - Thirty-five. 33 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:33,823 You know why? I am a much, much better doctor than you. 34 00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:39,021 Ooh! Look at that big lollipop. 35 00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,555 I wouldn't know whether to lick it 36 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,559 or whether to just lift up my skirt and spank myself with it. 37 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,629 - Elliot! - It's free candy! 38 00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:51,640 Dr. Reid, I thought you gave a great endocrinology lecture today. 39 00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:52,940 Even though some of the other interns 40 00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:54,742 think you go off on personal tangents too much. 41 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:59,047 - Who? - I shouldn't say. Denise. 42 00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:02,384 Anyway, I was hoping you could assign me some more interesting procedures. 43 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,117 Rein it in, Katie. 44 00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:06,318 Just go place a central line on Mr. Clark. 45 00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:07,451 Thanks. 46 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:08,552 Wow! 47 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,324 The butt-kissing isn't even the worst part. 48 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,797 I feel like Katie will do anything to get ahead, you know? 49 00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:15,232 I'm this close to freezing her out. 50 00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:17,293 Just like I did Dr. Simmons. 51 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,998 Yeah, what's your deal with her? 52 00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:22,496 Hello, she wears the exact same thing as me every day. 53 00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:27,172 - Yeah, we're talking about you, skank. - Nice dress. 54 00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:30,910 Veronica, I have no idea how you're doing this, but I will find out. 55 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:35,653 - MR. TILLMAN: Thirty-five. - Hi, Mr. Tillman. 56 00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,212 You ready to go to work? 57 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:39,655 Hello, Mr. Rosell. 58 00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:42,889 You can call me Pat. This is my daughter, Christine. 59 00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,988 So, Pat, I understand that you have multiple sclerosis 60 00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:47,363 and you're interested in being put on interferon. 61 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,867 I held off as long as I could, 62 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:52,770 but now the hand spasms and the nausea are pretty bad. 63 00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:54,272 Plus, I'm color blind. 64 00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:56,832 Well, we're gonna go run a whole bunch of tests. 65 00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:58,309 J.D.: And get some coffee. 66 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,807 Damn it! Now I have to go change. 67 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,812 So how you holding up? 68 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,947 Cleaning's an art. My mop was my paintbrush. 69 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:13,486 J.D.: Oh, no. It's the first time I've seen the Janitor since he was fired. 70 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:17,360 I have to seem like I care. Think of the saddest thing you can. 71 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:22,300 Turk's dead. Turk's dead. Turk's dead. Turk's... Oh, my God, 72 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:24,929 what if something really happened to him? I'd be lost. 73 00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,871 Stop thinking like that. Turk's fine. 74 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,965 Turk's fine. Turk's fine. Turk's fine. Turk's fine. 75 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:32,068 J.D., the Janitor got fired. 76 00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:36,070 No, it's okay. He knows. He just doesn't care. 77 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,379 See, in his mind, I'm the bad guy in our relationship. 78 00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,249 Even though, if he stopped to think about it for a minute 79 00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:43,050 he would realize I never did a thing to him that he didn't deserve. 80 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:46,183 - You locked me in a water tower. - You wrote on the wall. 81 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,684 - You destroyed my scooter, Sasha. - You know I hate Wednesdays. 82 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,720 You haunted my pediatric patients. 83 00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:54,528 You didn't wear the shorts that my imaginary wife made for you. 84 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,127 Janitor, I just heard, I'm so sorry. 85 00:03:58,037 --> 00:03:59,265 What? 86 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,239 What's up? 87 00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:03,674 Oh, come on. How's that even possible? 88 00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:08,605 I can't do this all on my own 89 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,138 No, I know 90 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,014 I'm no Superman 91 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,949 I'm no Superman 92 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,352 MR. TILLMAN: Thirty-five. 93 00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:25,927 Hey, thanks for placing that central line for me. 94 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,763 I'm just still not great at the procedure, you know? 95 00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:30,291 Look at you. 96 00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:34,534 Watching over the I.C.U. Like a proud lioness looking out over her jungle. 97 00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,838 Elliot, stop. 98 00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,343 Oh, my God! That wasn't a real "stop," 99 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,938 that was a "keep going because I'm actually loving this" stop. 100 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:43,107 - Wasn't it? - Maybe. 101 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:46,583 I've never gotten one of these before. This is so exciting. 102 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,348 I'm gonna leave before I ruin it. 103 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:55,188 - Great job on Mr. Clark's central line. - Thanks. It was super easy. 104 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,896 Okay, Mr. Rosell, let's get you on some interferon. 105 00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:05,495 So it can start interfering with that pesky MS of yours. 106 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,234 Are you making fun of my multiple sclerosis? 107 00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:10,037 Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the moment, 108 00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,442 it won't happen again, I promise. 109 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:16,414 J.D.: Interferon sounds like the name of a robot that always gets in the way. 110 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:20,385 So we brought you some pills for your pain and your nausea. Dr. Dorian? 111 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,854 - J. D! Pills. - Right. Pills. 112 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,358 Take the red one now for the pain. 113 00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,929 - Mr. Rosell took the red pill. - Yeah, we told him to. 114 00:05:31,964 --> 00:05:35,991 If he can't see colors, how did he know which one was red? 115 00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:38,970 He's just another addict scamming us for meds. 116 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,200 Frick on a stick. 117 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,444 Looking for something? 118 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:49,970 Yes, my cloak of invisibility, so that I can avoid conversations 119 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,348 with soulless dictators such as yourself. 120 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:54,250 Unfortunately, it's really hard to find 121 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:57,552 because, as the name suggests, it's invisible. 122 00:05:58,257 --> 00:06:02,023 All right, Dr. Cox. Ridiculous name by the way. 123 00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:04,086 If you're looking for your patient, Mr. Tillman, 124 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:08,089 my guess is he's probably on a bus somewhere screaming "35!" 125 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:09,863 See, I bounced him from his head trauma trial 126 00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:13,360 because I learned that somebody was lying about his age. 127 00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,699 Hmm. See you. 128 00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:18,972 I got to get rid of this Maddox. 129 00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:22,879 Honest to God, she is... Why aren't you listening to me? 130 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,110 Because of that. 131 00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:28,881 - That scone looks good. - Oh, yeah? 132 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,357 We should have sex later. 133 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,854 How did you get from that image to that thought? 134 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,526 I'll tell you tonight. 135 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,502 Just bring home a scone and a Hawaiian shirt. 136 00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:46,732 Mama's heating up. 137 00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:51,569 Donny! Do my free muffins for life include scones? 138 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,704 - Nope. - Damn you, God. 139 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,413 I'm getting rid of Maddox. Who's in? 140 00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,681 I'm in. Ever since she fired me, 141 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,053 I've been moping around my apartment making barking sounds. 142 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,957 I'm not crazy. I just need some human interaction 143 00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:10,360 and the barking makes the neighbors yell "shut that damn thing up!" 144 00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:11,886 Then I can go over there with a bottle of Scotch 145 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,866 and apologize for Rusty, my imaginary Akita. 146 00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:18,167 The only downside is that by the time Lady, my girlfriend, gets home, 147 00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,435 I'm too drunk to talk to her, much less make love. 148 00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:25,170 You've never pictured me as an organism that has sex, have you? 149 00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:26,838 - We have not. - No. 150 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:30,713 - I understand. - Is Dr. Maddox really that bad? 151 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,480 She's like you, only smart and on the ball. 152 00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,817 That must suck. 153 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,823 - What? - Admit it. 154 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:41,623 You miss having me as the Chief of Medicine. 155 00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:47,695 Bob, I'll gladly admit to anything that's true, no matter how embarrassing. 156 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:51,499 For example, I've always wished that I could carry a child inside of me 157 00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:53,402 and, you know, birth it. 158 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:57,205 But I'll never admit to missing you, Bob. Ever. 159 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:58,942 Rusty. Heel. 160 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,976 Donny, I'm going to need 161 00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:07,008 the double-chocolate blaster as a pick-me-up. 162 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,780 Maybe another. 163 00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:14,616 Hello, girls. 164 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:19,454 Come on, sit down, Katie, sit down. It's time to set you straight. 165 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,400 We better do it fast, because, man, you're annoying. 166 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:27,031 Why do you think you can talk to me like this? You're just a nurse. 167 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:30,338 Okay, A, I'm a lioness. 168 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:33,539 B, who the hell do you think runs this place? 169 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,940 The nursing staff has already turned on you. 170 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:40,851 Why do you think you were assigned 75 bowel disimpactions this week? 171 00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:43,048 I don't care. I'm good at it. 172 00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:45,683 Plus, this morning I found a silver dollar. 173 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,455 Everyone's on to you, missy. 174 00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:50,587 Pretty soon, you're gonna get called out. 175 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,689 You're lying to us. You took the red pill. You can see colors. 176 00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:57,498 You know, I am sick and tired of lowlifes like you 177 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:01,098 trying to come here and score pain medication off of us, okay. 178 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,437 You make us care. 179 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:05,308 And then because you're worried we're gonna see through your little plan, 180 00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:06,811 you don't even laugh at our jokes. 181 00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:09,576 Actually, the interferon joke was sort of funny. 182 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:11,810 You're damn right it was, Pat, okay? 183 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:13,546 Well, this time, no one's getting off easy. 184 00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:17,613 My cousin is a cop. And not a good cop either, a rogue cop. 185 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,254 - Christine, it's you, isn't it? - Hold on, hold on, Elliot. 186 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:24,024 You ever watch The Shield, Pat? Do you happen to get FX, Pat? 187 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,793 Because you're gonna get Michael Chiklised in the head. 188 00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:30,427 He's the orange guy in Fantastic Four, that's coming down on you. 189 00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:34,200 J.D., look at her hand. It's in spasm. 190 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,731 You're the one with the MS. Right? 191 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:40,575 I don't have any insurance and my dad just thought that since he did... 192 00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:42,581 Look, we'll go, all right? 193 00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:46,676 If you could just not tell anyone, we'd be very grateful. 194 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,145 J.D.: Elliot and I knew what we had to do. 195 00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:53,886 Okay, Pat. You have MS 196 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:57,589 and you're not leaving here until you get your medication. 197 00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,828 Thank you. 198 00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,026 Do you know how grateful people would be 199 00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:05,731 if you showed them even a little common decency? 200 00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:08,170 Please, this place is so competitive. 201 00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:11,706 No one looks out for each other here. 202 00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:13,974 Yeah. This Maddox is so damn sketchy, 203 00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:17,312 I guarantee you we'll find something in these files. 204 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,375 Hurry, up man. I don't want to get busted. 205 00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:22,216 Now, listen there, Grape Ape, I only invited you to help me 206 00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:23,551 because it never dawned on me 207 00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:26,456 that you'd get all panicky over a little breaking and entering. 208 00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:29,427 Actually, I'm not. See, this stuff has become so mundane to me 209 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,693 that I've created a character who's terrified about going back to prison. 210 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:36,293 And through him, I hope to feel, once again, the old rush. 211 00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:38,062 You carry on. 212 00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:41,130 Good. 'Cause I can't go back there, man. 213 00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:44,631 Not after what they did to Johnny. Oh, Johnny. He was the best. 214 00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:48,511 I wish you'd known him. Those guards worked him over good. 215 00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:52,540 They shanked him with a shiv. And they shivved him with a shank. 216 00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:58,756 Over a pack of smokes. Johnny, you were too beautiful for this world, man. 217 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:02,226 Hope you're king of the next. 218 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,888 Johnny! Johnny! 219 00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:13,299 Hey, guys. Listen, I popped in here earlier 220 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:17,105 and noticed not Mr. Rosell but his daughter showing signs of MS. 221 00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,601 They were lying to get her the drugs. Can you believe it? 222 00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:24,480 - I'm angry. I want to shake these things. - Hard. 223 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:28,009 Anyway, I played the bad guy for you and I tossed them out. 224 00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,885 I love playing the bad guy. 225 00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:31,583 I'd even wear black scrubs if they made them. 226 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,686 Do you even know what people are calling you around here? 227 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,060 I know I don't care. 228 00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:41,498 Because I wrote the worst one on this piece of paper. 229 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:46,701 "Sausages, sausages, and more sausages"? 230 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:52,575 That's actually Turk's grocery list. But you do care, don't you? 231 00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:54,545 Katie, if you keep going down this road, 232 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,105 eventually people will come after you. 233 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,684 Hey, you! How do you think the Board would feel 234 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:00,913 if I could show them proof 235 00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:04,081 that you're on the take from a medical supply company? 236 00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,454 I'm guessing they'd be thrilled 237 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:08,756 since I'm rolling that money back into the hospital's budget. 238 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:11,319 Please. Stop handcuffing us. 239 00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:14,924 You're making it impossible for us to help our patients. 240 00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:19,168 Does anybody else feel that way? 241 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:26,111 Great, now I don't have to tell you each individually 242 00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:29,546 that I don't give a rat's hairy ass. 243 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,919 It's a huge time-saver. Thanks, gang. 244 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,320 And eventually, Katie, everyone here is going to hate you. 245 00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:46,723 Look, Carla, I appreciate this whole mother hen thing... 246 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,631 - Lioness. - Lioness thing 247 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:51,534 that you've got going on here. But I don't need your help. 248 00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:53,834 Look. I know you think you're fine on your own, 249 00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:58,310 but in order to survive here you need to surround yourself with friends. 250 00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:00,944 Look over there. 251 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,278 I can count on three out of four of those people. 252 00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:05,408 I trust them with all my secrets. 253 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:09,176 You guys, Carla had the nastiest sex dream about that cafeteria lady. 254 00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:10,984 Watch how uncomfortable she gets. 255 00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:15,954 - Nice earrings. - Thank you. 256 00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:17,895 You're welcome. 257 00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:19,192 How are we gonna get rid of Maddox? 258 00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:23,258 Janitor, would you like to get your useless ideas out of the way first? 259 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,395 Well, thank you, Perry. 260 00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:28,031 Off the top of my head I'd go reindeer stampede. 261 00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:31,304 Astronaut attack. Barbed wire chandelier. 262 00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:33,607 Photoshop. Poisonous sushi. 263 00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:35,944 When you said "Photoshop," 264 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:39,883 did you mean use Photoshop to create an incriminating picture? 265 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:43,116 No, I meant we build an actual photo shop. 266 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,885 Or a chain of photo shops. We each manage one. 267 00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:47,187 We let time pass. 268 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,694 Eventually Maddox has to have her film developed. 269 00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:52,663 She comes in, we all hop out, yell, "Surprise" 270 00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:55,531 and beat her to death with pool cues. 271 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,092 I'm going to go ahead and apologize, 272 00:13:57,136 --> 00:14:00,469 because it's my fault that we're backtracking. 273 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:01,905 It's okay. I'm not mad. 274 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:04,535 You guys, let's face it. Maddox is untouchable. 275 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:07,171 J.D.: Not true. I know how to get rid of any woman. 276 00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:11,577 Dr. Maddox, I love you. 277 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:14,108 Excuse me for just a second. 278 00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:16,986 Where are you going? I'm telling you that I love you. I... 279 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,148 Okay. 280 00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:22,187 J.D.: Too mean, psyche. 281 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:26,527 Admittedly, getting rid of Maddox is a Board issue. 282 00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:31,127 But, as you all know, I recently retired to become a full-time mom. 283 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,900 J.D.: Crap. We forgot Jordan's retirement party last week. 284 00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,497 I hope we weren't the only ones. 285 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,942 - I really should have gone to your party. - You think? 286 00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:42,641 Afternoon power walk coming through. 287 00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:46,114 Why don't you guys just get him to help you? 288 00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:47,948 He has so much dirt on all the Board members 289 00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:49,454 they'll do whatever you want. 290 00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:51,820 She's right, Perry. Let's roll. 291 00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,058 Big Cat? I need you. 292 00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,693 If you come with me to Dr. Kelso, I won't talk to you. 293 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,167 There it is. 294 00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,865 Hey, Johann. Give me some chocolate. 295 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,336 Johann, you slut! 296 00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:15,507 These puppies? They pay for themselves. 297 00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:19,142 - Katie, what you don't realize... - What are we doing here? 298 00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:22,085 - Are you setting her straight? - I'm trying to. 299 00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:25,016 - Look, Katie, what you don't realize... - May I cut in? 300 00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:26,354 Go ahead. 301 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,455 My rules for getting by here 302 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:32,362 are the same as my rules for getting by in Mexico. 303 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:36,198 One, don't drink the water. Two, party till you drop. 304 00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:39,671 Three, everything is negotiable. 305 00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:44,267 So you want me to go coerce the Board into firing Dr. Maddox. 306 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:47,746 I'll tell you what, I'll think about it over a muffin. 307 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,408 - Donny. - Dude. 308 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,940 We need an answer now, Bob. 309 00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:58,048 Fine. I'll do it. If you tell me you miss having me as Chief. 310 00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,183 - So much, sir. - So much. I missed your smell. 311 00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:02,853 Not you two. Him. 312 00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,854 You know, you hurt my feelings earlier. 313 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:10,164 In my defense, you are a soulless creature from the netherworld 314 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:12,636 who doesn't really have feelings. 315 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:16,700 Thank you, Donny, but I'll fight my own battles. 316 00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:20,870 You want Maddox gone, just tell me you miss me. 317 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,008 Fine. But I can't do it in front of people. 318 00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:26,779 Everybody out. Go! 319 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:32,489 Actually, I think I'm going to need Dr. Reid and Dr. Dorian here 320 00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:34,151 to bear witness. 321 00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:37,285 Barbie, Newbie. Back in. 322 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:40,594 Calm down. There's like 23 people back in that supply closet. 323 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,868 J.D.: And then we saw something amazing. 324 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:47,065 Dr. Cox said something nice to Dr. Kelso. 325 00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:51,535 When you were the Chief, you were a jackass and a nightmare 326 00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,704 and I hated you a great deal. 327 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,441 That's a good start. 328 00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:57,312 But I always sensed, 329 00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:02,281 well, I always sensed that you were burdened by the job 330 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,585 and it wasn't necessarily who you were as a person. 331 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:08,992 And, every once in a while, you showed a shred of humanity, 332 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:12,390 plus you did manage to look the other way a couple times. 333 00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:14,262 That was pretty good. 334 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:20,605 So, for all that stuff, Bob, yeah, I miss you. 335 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,374 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 336 00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:26,901 Everybody back. 337 00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:30,676 Look, Katie, I've seen all kinds of people come through this place, 338 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:35,619 tall, short, gay, straight, smart, weird. 339 00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:41,516 The point is, this childish self-centered attitude 340 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,927 you keep throwing everyone's way is nothing new. 341 00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:46,988 You know what's really driving me crazy? 342 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,193 You keep acting like you know me. 343 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,633 Don't bother with the sob story. 344 00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:53,866 I've been here a long time. I've heard it all before. 345 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,342 Really? Because my dad died when I was six, 346 00:17:57,376 --> 00:18:01,972 and to cope, my mom drank herself through most of my childhood. 347 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:05,211 No one ever did anything for me. 348 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,946 I've always had to do it for myself. 349 00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:10,750 - Oh, Katie. - I know. 350 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,155 Heard it! 351 00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:19,095 Me, dead mom. J.D., dead dad. Elliot, emotionally abusive parents. 352 00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:22,567 Dr. Cox, emotionally and physically abusive dead parents, 353 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,831 which he may have killed. No one's sure. 354 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:27,338 Look, Katie, now that you're here, 355 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,337 it doesn't matter what crap you have in your past. 356 00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:33,139 All that matters is that you leave it there. 357 00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,203 Because this hospital is your home now. 358 00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,545 And these people are your family. 359 00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:41,075 And I can tell you they will love you unconditionally if you let them. 360 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:45,056 But if you don't, they... Check that. 361 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:48,148 We will eat you alive. 362 00:18:57,102 --> 00:19:02,096 Hey, Frank! My favorite board member. 363 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:03,935 Say hi to your wife for me. 364 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,000 Oh... 365 00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:09,374 Do you remember that trip we took to Thailand together? 366 00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:13,145 You still keep in touch with that hermaphrodite you nailed? 367 00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:16,251 What was his name? Lou. 368 00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:20,920 J.D.: The rest was predictable. They fired Maddox. 369 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,955 Oh! So this is where the party is. 370 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,397 It's okay. Go on celebrating. I don't care. 371 00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:30,799 I mean, sure, I spent the last three months building a life here. 372 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,464 Buying a condo, finding a school for my kid, 373 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:36,134 having sex with Mickhead. 374 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,836 That doesn't have to end, baby. 375 00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:39,639 Oh, yes, it does, Walter. 376 00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,976 You shouldn't have to strangle me to keep your erection. 377 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,641 I have needs. 378 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,049 Anyway, you all think that you've won, 379 00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:50,350 but they're just going to replace me with someone exactly like me. 380 00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:51,913 Because nothing ever changes. 381 00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:54,858 People don't change, relationships don't change, 382 00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:58,659 and the medical system will never change either. 383 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:02,531 But you guys, go ahead and have fun until the new me gets here. 384 00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:04,695 It should be a great couple of days. 385 00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:07,296 J.D.: And then poof! She was gone. 386 00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:11,965 And I like to think we proved Maddox wrong those next few days. 387 00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:15,611 We found a way to work around the system... 388 00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:17,173 Thanks. 389 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,982 Here's the medicine, Mr. Rosell. I hope that helps. 390 00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:25,589 A relationship evolved. 391 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,754 - Good morning, Bob. - Perry. 392 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:33,022 It just goes to show you that with a little help, 393 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,863 anything can change, even interns. 394 00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:41,201 Dr. Reid, I'm not the one that placed that central line the other day. 395 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,674 I just took credit for it. 396 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:47,008 - I'm not gonna do that anymore. - Good. 397 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:50,913 Any chance you could show me how to place one of those things? 398 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,047 Let's go. 399 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,557 And action. 400 00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:05,256 Oh, man, those guys, the screws. They worked him over good. 401 00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:10,332 They shivved him with a shank, in the yard of the big house. 402 00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:12,096 And they shanked him with a shiv. 403 00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,263 Just 'cause he was up the river. 404 00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:17,400 J-boy. The big J. 405 00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:21,875 I thought I saw him, man. 406 00:21:21,913 --> 00:21:23,744 He's always in here. 407 00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:28,180 Johnny. Oh, Johnny.